I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
