She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
