I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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