I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
