at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
