Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize