I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
