You work out of a Hotel?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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