Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
