If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
