Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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