He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
