I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
