he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
