There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
