It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
