god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
