Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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