If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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