i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
