How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
