At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no, he came in my armpit
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
