Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize