She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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