If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
