There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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