hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
