i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
