Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
