with your own penis?
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize