also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
