Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
