singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
