Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
