he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
