Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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