apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
