escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
