i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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