I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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