You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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