I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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