Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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