fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
