Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
