I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize