Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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