i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
