Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
