i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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