Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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