i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
