Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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