You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
