My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
