I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
