I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i think i have two assholes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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