so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
