I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
