bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
