woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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