On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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