Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
