KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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