i barfeds in our rink
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
