my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
