I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
