Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
