When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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