I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
