wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My butt remains clenched, sir.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
